The day I cried at daycare drop-off… knowing there wasn’t enough breastmilk 😭

Today’s post is going to be a little more casual—just me, talking to you, mom to mom.

I want to talk about formula. Not because it’s bad. Not because I want to scare you. But because I know what it feels like to not want to use it and to be afraid to say that out loud.

When I had my first baby, I went back to work after four months. I had worked so hard to get breastfeeding going. I had a full milk supply by the time I returned to my job—I was incredibly proud of that. I had a hand-me-down pump (which I didn’t realize at the time was part of the problem), my own office, a pumping schedule, and all the right intentions. On paper, it looked like everything should have worked.

But slowly, my pumping output started to drop.

Around six months, daycare told me they needed more milk. Not because my baby was hungrier, but because I wasn’t sending enough. And honestly? I was devastated.

This was my first baby. I cared so much. I had done everything right, and still—I wasn’t pumping enough. I remember telling our care provider, “Just supplement with formula if you need to… but I don’t want to know how much.” That was my way of coping. I didn’t want to face it. I sent what I could, trusted her to fill in the gaps, and tried not to think about it.

And while I was grateful that formula existed, it just wasn’t what I wanted.

I felt like a failure.

(This post was originally a video. Check it out, here)

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The Hidden Grief in Feeding Decisions

Logically, I knew I was doing a lot. I was pumping every two hours. Breastfeeding was going great on evenings and weekends. I had the milk. I just couldn’t get it out with the pump, and it made no sense to me at the time.

And here’s the thing—I felt guilty for even feeling bad about it. Because formula is good. It saves babies. It fills in when we need it to. I was thankful it existed… but I was still heartbroken.

I bottled it up. I was embarrassed by how much I cared. I didn’t want to admit it—not even to myself.

My husband, sweet and supportive as he is, didn’t fully get it. And honestly? I didn’t either. But breastfeeding mattered to me. I wanted to give my baby the best shot at health. I wanted to do something biologically normal. I wanted to be enough.

Looking back, I know now that a lot of that emotion was tied up in guilt about going back to work. I didn’t want to be away from my baby. I wanted to feed at the breast. That felt right for me, and not being able to do that the way I had hoped was deeply disappointing.

At the time, I was a school nurse. I ended up quitting after that school year. I’ve never returned to traditional work, and honestly, that decision was shaped largely by that difficult experience.

Everything turned out okay. My baby is healthy. Life moved on.

But I didn’t like how I felt through that process. And I don’t want another mom to feel the way I did.

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Why I Do This Work

I recently had a call with a mom considering joining our program. Her partner was on the call too, and he said something that stuck with me.

He said, “I don’t really understand the benefits of breast milk. I know it’s important to her, but I feel so guilty when we have to give formula. I know it’s not what she wants, but what am I supposed to do? There’s not enough breast milk. It doesn’t really matter to me either way—but I feel stuck.”

That moment hit me.

So many of us are carrying these quiet internal battles. Moms. Partners. Caregivers. There’s guilt. Confusion. Disappointment. And a longing for something that maybe we haven’t even allowed ourselves to say out loud.

That’s why I do what I do now.

My personal experience—feeling unsupported, out of control, and frustrated—led me to specialize in helping working mothers pump efficiently and understand the difference between nursing and pumping, because no one told me they were completely different skills.

If someone had helped me learn how to pump, I could have continued giving my baby 100% breast milk and still worked the job I had trained for. My career path might look very different today.

Now? I know how to do it. And I teach other women how to do it too. Because I don’t want you to feel as lost as I once did.

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You’re Allowed to Care

Formula is not poison. It’s a lifeline. We will never sacrifice a child’s well-being for an ideal.

But it’s also okay if you don’t want to use formula.

It’s okay to say:
“Breastfeeding is really important to me. I want to make this work. I need help.”

You’re allowed to care. Even if the people around you don’t fully get it. Even if you end up combo feeding. Even if you use formula sometimes.

You are not less of a mother for wanting this.

I’ve had so many conversations with moms who are afraid to say out loud how much this means to them. Sometimes they don’t even want to admit it to themselves.

Because if we don’t set a goal, we can’t fail. Right?

Wrong.

Avoiding the goal doesn’t make the pain go away—it just keeps us from doing what might actually get us closer to where we want to be.

So I’m inviting you today:
Say what you want. Out loud. Even if you don’t know how to get there yet.

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Stories That Inspire Me Every Day

I’ve had the privilege of working with hundreds of women with unique stories, and I carry those with me every day:

• Monica, an OB/GYN, pumped between surgeries with a wearable pump. Some days she only got a few ounces, but they mattered. She hit her one-year goal by doing what worked for her.
  
• Laura panicked when her output dropped—but it turned out to be a faulty valve. A five-dollar fix changed everything.
  
• Kendall combo fed her twins while working shifts. She told me, “Even if it’s 50%, 20%—it still matters to me.” Her mindset was incredible. She did what she could, with help, and owned her journey.
  
• Nadia was so afraid of formula that she delayed supplementing even when her twins weren’t gaining weight. She thought she had to figure it out alone. Once we introduced just a little formula safely, her babies began to thrive—and she continued breastfeeding longer than she expected.

These stories are why I built our Pumping for Working Moms Coaching Program. Because breastfeeding and pumping are emotional. They’re complicated. And no one should have to navigate them without support.

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You Deserve Support—Not Shame

Our coaching program isn’t just a checklist or a cookie-cutter plan. It’s a safe space where your goals matter. Where your feelings are valid. Where “just give formula” isn’t the automatic answer—unless it’s the right one for you.

Whether your goal is exclusive breastfeeding, combo feeding, or just making it through the first three months with your sanity intact—we’re here for it.

There’s no single “right” way to feed your baby. But you deserve to do it with guidance, support, and zero shame.

If this post spoke to you, and you’re a working mom who wants to give breastfeeding your best shot, I’d love to talk. You can apply to chat with me or my team through the link below. Even if you’re unsure what you want yet, we’ll help you talk it through. That’s what we’re here for.

We don’t accept everyone into the program—we want to make sure it’s truly a good fit and that we can actually help you. But if we can, we’d love to support you in your journey.

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You’re Allowed to Want What You Want

I want to leave you with this:

You don’t have to pretend you don’t care.
You don’t have to feel ashamed for wanting to breastfeed.
And you don’t have to go it alone.

Set a goal. Say it out loud. Let someone help you.

Because you were never meant to do this alone.

Thanks for being here. Thanks for letting me share my story. And if you need support—you know where to find me.

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Ready to take the next step?
Apply for a free clarity call with our team and let’s figure out what your goals are—and how to reach them together.

P.S. If this post resonated with you, consider sharing it with another mom who might need to hear this too. We’re all in this together.